'REDNECK' TRANSLATION:
It was a beautiful day and a mother wanted to take her two children and her husband out for the day. Here's her story...
I've decided it was time for me to take the family out for a picnic, so I shouted, "Ok everyone, let's haul Ass and get the hell out of here! So we gathered up all the food and liquour and headed towards the beach - after all, it was a fine day and an even better day for swimming with the young ones, I thought. As we were approaching the beach, the little one hollard:
Hey mamma, I think I seen a vagina down on the beach.
A what?", I wondered.
A vagina! Me too, me too mamma!
I see a vagina and a cock and a....
Shito! Ok kids, just close those eyes and don't look untill we get to our spot, you here me?
Where? Where? Where? replied their pappa, Bubba.
So I told him:
Bubba! Don't be a prick! You get them there eyeballs back in the them sockets if you know what is food for you!
Later on that evening after hours of playing, the kids were starting to get hungry...
What in the world are we having for picnic Mamma? We are starving?
Oh darling, mamma did great. I got me here a bounty of goodies for the whole family from all over the world.
We got some JussiPussi rolls from Findland, some MegaPussi!, some Jamaican cock soup, cock bacon, some fine Bra yogurt all the way from Sweden. Then in this here basket I got me some Super Titi for you kids, some Spotted Dick I whipped up in the microwave before coming here. Some...
"Damn sweetipie, all this here talk of food is sure making me horny... I mean hungry. Can we just eat already."
Bubba, I'm starting to get tired of your shit! If you don't shut your trap hole I'm going to kick you in the nuts then grab them here Donkey Balls I got for the young ones and shove it up your ass!
You got that Bubba?
I'm sorry sugarbun. I just couldn't help it. You were starting to give me a woody. a erektus...
WHACK! That's It! We are going home!
Kids, get away from that barb wire fence and pack your things because we are going home!
Your pappa is being a real Big Ass, a real flake, and a real dirty old Fart, and we sure as hell won't be sticking around to see him Wack Off! in front of strangers!
Kids get in the Chevrolet and shut them doors, just don't let the door hit you where the good lord split you.
This here is the last time we will be going on a picnic with your pappa! You know he's a beer short of a six-pack and about as sexy as socks on a billy goat.
Damn, I have seen halloween pumpkins with more teeth than your pappa. Next time we will be going to Georgia or somewhere over yonder! The End
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