Thursday, July 14, 2011

❏This vs That ❐: FAKE Boobs vs. REAL Boobs

Welcome to Thursday's

When it comes to breasts, some men (and women) prefer 'home-grown' while others.. well, want the best technology and science has to offer, lol.  Whatever the choice, the trick is to know how to spot the difference.  So being as I am naturally so curious.. in order to do this post, I had to ask myself some questions:

How do they look?
How do fake breasts look compared to real breasts?  Is there a natural shape to natural breasts?  I know it's sometimes difficult to tell when it's holsted or hoisted in a bra but...

Well, the answer is yes!  There is a shape to natural breasts that distinguishes them from the fakes.  Real breasts are or should be more teardrop shaped or like a pear shape - not perfectly round and standing at attention at all times whether on duty or not!

Real breasts are also unidentical in size and one is usually bigger than the other.  They should be sloped down and more fuller at the bottom than the top...  pear shaped.
Mother nature rarely bestows big breasts on skinny, small-boned girls so if a size 0 girl is sporting Double-D's, they are probably store bought.

The average distance between a woman's nipples and her chin is approximately 10 inches depending on her height.  If the space is considerable less than that, it may indicate implants.

How do they feel?
How do fake breasts feel as oppose to the real ones?  Are the fake ones hard and rubbery?  This question was one of the hardest to find the answer to, scientifically that is.   There were alot of 'first-hand' experiences out there on forums and answer sites so basically that's all I had to go on.  As one person explained it:

"The first time I had a chance to feel a pair of tits with implants in them, they felt like two blocks of cement covered with a quarter inch of skin."
I've read elsewhere it felt like sandbags...

Then I found the answer from a real doctor, lol:
The feel of a breast implant varies from person to person. Many factors come into play. Some factors include the amount of breast tissue a person already has to cover the implants, whether or not the implants will be on top of the muscle, entirely under the muscle, or partially under the muscle; whether they are saline implants or silicone implants; the quality and thickness of the skin, etc... In general, silicone implants will feel more "natural" than saline implants.  - Sanjay Grover MD

How Do They Move?
Do fake breasts move the same as real breasts when performing different actions?
Watch them in action..

When a woman moves, her breasts move with her. If she’s walking fast, they bounce. When she lies down, they flop to the side, not remain on top!   If she bends over, they become more conical.  Real breasts contains more fat therefore more 'jiggle'.  Fake ones stay still and maintain their round shape....  always standing at attention.

By the way...
Some high-quality implants today are designed with intentional sag to make them look more like the real thing.

Ok, so I don't get it.  If they try to make them feel like the real thing, sag like the real thing... why don't you just keep the REAL thing??!!

Do They Float?
Ok, maybe that's not a legitimate question in regards to spotting the difference... or is it?
Well, it just so happens real breasts do float, but fake breasts do not!  Why you say?  According to research, both the saline and the silicone sacs will sink just on their own so therefore they will sink also even when implanted.   The real breasts on the other hand, is made up of 90% fat and.. fat floats.

Do They Freeze-up like an Eskimo's Kiss on a Cold Arctic Night?
Neither saline or silicone implants will freeze - at least not while you are alive! It seems the body's internal heat is enough to keep the implants relatively warm even in extreme cold. The implants are placed under the pectoralis muscle and therefore it would be at your body temperature. However, many women will tell you that in very cold weather when they are cold, their implants do feel somewhat cool. This difference between body temperature and implant temperature will be greater in those with thinner skin and minimal fat and breast tissue present.

So, no, your breast implants will not freeze in cold weather. They can become slighly cooler but not to that extreme.

How Long Do They Last?  Do They Last as Long as the REAL Thing?
So they feel good, look nice and bounce ok, but do the fake boobs last forever?

A 'guesstimate' for the product life is 15-20 years -- averaging at 16 years (Institute of Medicine). Implants do not need to be changed unless there is a deflation. Although one may consider changing a silicone-filled implant out after this amount or more time has passed to decrease the chances of a rupture which would necessitate a silicone gel/oil removal procedure.

There is a 2% rate of deflation in the first 10 years. Although wear and tear will be different in each individual depending upon implant surface type (textureds may rupture sooner or more often than smooths). However there are women who have had implants in over 25 years with no problems. There is no definite answer, but do expect to replace implants at last once in your life. -

Deflation, wear and tear, oil removal... are we still talking about boobs here or cars???


So, they look great, feel great and all but that's in the beginning...  Eventually,
all breasts relax as time passes, because the weight stretches the skin, elasticity is lost with age and the amount of breast tissue often decreases as the person gets older. These three factors mean that breasts can be expected to relax and sag whether or not there are implants present. The implants add some weight to the breast, which may increase the rate of relaxation, and yet implants and surrounding scar tissue can provide some internal support for the breasts. The overall result is that usually the breasts sag less -- but more so if you wear a properly fitting bra regularly. A patient cannot expect to go without a bra for the rest of their life once they get implants. Especially since with larger cup sizes as you will be returning to your plastic surgeon's office consulting for a breast lift (mastopexy).

But in the end, if you can live with all this and you really want the fake boobs to boost self-esteem or for whatever reasons...  what the hell!... Go for it!  If worse comes to worse, all you have to do is trade it in for a newer model!

Just make sure they're really part of the female anatomy.. fake or not! LoL

Or just real fakes period!

Of course, when it's all said and done, and you still really want those implants..  but can't afford it, you can always go to Invest In Breasts!

Read more from my blog here !




  1. hahaha, Alex, you are soooooo terrible! Funny... but terrible, hahahaha

  2. Love the humor behind it. I always get into arguments on how to determine fake boobs.

    1. Lol. Thanks Natalie! There are soooo many women getting the fake boobs nowadays, I'm just wondering if it is really all worth it in the end. If it is for their self-esteem... then fine, go ahead, but if it is to impress or keep some guy - don't do it!! The majority of men couldn't care less either way!!

      By the way, the best way to determine fake boobs? When they appear too perfect! :)

      Thanks for your comment!


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