LADIES VS. REAL WOMEN
Ladies - If you accidentally over-salt a dish while it's still cooking,
drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an
Real Women - If you over-salt a dish while you are cooking, that's too
damn bad. Please recite with me, The Real Women's motto: "I made it and you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes."
Ladies - Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.
Real Women - Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink. You might still have the headache, but who cares?
Ladies – When pregnant and feeling bloated and tired, try getting extra hours of sleep and ensure you are eating a well balance diet.
Real Women – Quit the damn whining. Get up off your ass, and go fetch some milk from the barn – the cows won’t milk themselves. You think you got it rough now, wait till after the baby is born.
Ladies - Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.
Real Women - Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake. You are probably lying your ass on the couch, with your feet up anyway.
Real Women - Buy boxed mashed potato mix and you don't have to worry about the potatoes growing arms and legs.
Ladies – If you chip a nail while golfing, see your manicurist right away as she will have the latest product to fix it and you should be good as new in no time!
Real Women – Screw the manicurist! Chew the rest of the nail off – it will grow back. Sand it down with some sandpaper if no nail file is available and get back to cleaning the gutters – winter is approaching.
Ladies - When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the inside of the cake.
Real Women - Go to the bakery - they'll even decorate the son-of-a-bitch for you.
Ladies - If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non slip grip that makes opening jars easy.
Real Women - Go ask the very HOT neighbor guy to do it.
And finally the most important tip....
Ladies - Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.
Real Women - Leftover wine??