Saturday, August 20, 2011

☺On The Lighter Side... Men - How To Get Out of Doing the Dishes


Show no resistance when you are asked to do the dishes. Show a “can do” attitude to your partner as you slowly walk to the sink.
Look puzzled as you view both the dishes, the soap and the dishwasher. However, be sure to appear in deep thought and be completely oblivious to the fact that you are being watched.
Only allow a faint trickle of water to wash over the dishes before placing them in the washer. Do not scrub off the food. When you are told to scrub off the food, look confused. Attempt to scrub it off and then put the dishes in the dishwasher with food still on them. Look sincere in your attempts. Repeat as needed.
Break a dish, either by hitting it on the faucet or on the counter as you move it down to the washer. Clean it up slowly, leaving a few slivers of plate here and there. Cut yourself enough to bleed. Slowly look for a bandage. Leave the water running in the sink as you search.
Return to the sink. Cringe as the water touches your cut. Pretend no one is watching. Show a valiant effort to finish the dishes. Load the washer inefficiently. Try to put plates on the top and cups on the bottom. Leave obvious gaps. Attempt to place dishes in areas they obviously won’t fit.
Break a glass. Do not cut yourself because that would hurt. Use the broom to attempt a cleanup. Trip over the dishwasher door and quietly feign a bruised leg.
Allow your bandage to wash off. Slowly find another one. Leave the water dripping as you search.
Look like everything is going as planned. Never make eye contact with your partner.
Close the dishwasher and stack the dishes that did not seem to fit in to the right side of the sink.
Start the dishwasher without soap in it. Dry your hands and smile with your very best, “I feel so happy about my job well done” smile.

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